I'm the Cowardly Lion.

Last night, I came to realize why I'm not sleeping at night & bawling my eyes out: I don't have the courage to say the things that I wanna say. This might be hard to believe. I'm the type of girl that has more balls than guys the majority of the time. I'm a firecracker. I got something to say & say it. I don't have hair on my tongue, so to speak. I noticed that I don't have courage when I wanna be brutally honest when it comes to how I feel. There's just so much I wanna say to a specific person. Every time I tell myself that I'm gonna say what I wanna say, I always back down. It shouldn't be hard to say what I wanna say, I trust this person with my life. There's just something holding me back. I'm scared of him. Now this shouldn't be, but it's not like a bad scare. I guess you can say it's a good scare in a way. But then again how can being scared of someone be a good thing? I just get scared when I wanna be honest with someone & put my heart on the table for you to look & poke at. But being that honest makes you vulnerable. & I don't like being vulnerable whatsoever. I know the more I push back saying how of feel the more it's going to bother me. I just gotta figure out how I'm gonna have the balls to say something. Only time will tell.